Humility

Anyone listening in on a conversation between me and my counterpart would be nauseous, but not for the reasons you would usually think. Here's a conversation she and I have had:

Her: My grandmother's pressuring me to get married. She can't understand how someone as brilliant as me can be single.
Me: Well, I'm powerful and I have a razor-sharp wit, that should be good enough for her.
Her: Yeah, but I'm not sure that Russia will let someone as beautiful as me leave the country.
Me: Well, I have pretty incredible political savvy, I'm sure I'll be able to get you over here.
Her: Well, with as creative as you are, you shouldn't have any trouble figuring out what needs to be done.
Me: That's true, and it'll help that you're so immensely successful, so the U.S. will want to get you here.
Her: Good point.

The amazing thing is neither of us are being ironic. Anyone who has known me for an extended period of time would probably think something like "oh, God, there's two of them?" or "we've been trying for a decade not to encourage him..." There was a point in my life where I tried hiding my arrogance and putting myself out as an aw-shucks kind of guy, until I realized two things: first off, people want you to be humble because they think they're the shit, and they're put off by you implying that they aren't the greatest person in the world. Second, most of the things I take pride in, I wasn't born with. I didn't have any better sense of humor than anyone else at the age of six. My mom still says the biggest moment of my childhood for her wasn't when I learned to walk, or my first day of school, but when I actually told a joke that was funny. I didn't become a know-it-all by just making stuff up and talking people down, like a lot of people do- I became a know it all by reading, researching, and studying. It's an ongoing effort, too. This weekend, I realized I just didn't know that much about Mitt Romney. No reason why I should, right? But I want to know everything, so out I went researching him and reading up on him. I even checked out the book he wrote about the 2004 Olympics from the library.

My point is, why bother making myself a better person if I can't take credit for it? I don't talk other people down, and I don't shove it in people's faces if I'm better than them at something, but if there's something I believe I'm gifted in, I'm not afraid to show it. She's much the same way– she didn't get through med school by buying her way through or coming from a privileged family. She finds out something about plastic surgery, and without a second thought, away she goes, reading books and taking classes, until next thing you know she's grafting new eyelids on burn victims. She knows she has natural good looks, but she doesn't put in a wonderbra and 7-inch heels in an effort to mutate herself into a bimbo– she stays healthy, keeps in shape, and wears clothes that she knows look good on her. More importantly, she doesn't try to use her good looks as a way of getting what she wants. If she wants a promotion at work, she makes herself into a master surgeon, so they don't have any choice but to put her in the operating room. If she thinks she needs a better apartment, she doesn't just find some sugar daddy and move into his slave chambers, she works hard and puts in some extra hours, maybe goes to a couple conferences in Italy, so that they give her a raise so she can afford the place she wants.

Above all, if she wants a husband and a family, she doesn't just latch on to some doofus and nag him into not breaking up with her. She's too good for that. She's too smart, too beautiful, and too successful to put up with any guy who isn't just as intelligent and goal-driven, who will be latching onto her or expecting her to run the household. She demands someone with confidence and perserverance, someone who doesn't care what people might say about him, calling him obnoxious or unlikeable. She'll make those judgements for herself, and she'll only put up with someone she knows has a kind, devoted heart, will treat her with respect, and will allow her independence, if for no other reason because he's enjoying independence of his own.

You know, me.