Jesus Christ, shut the FUCK UP.

I take 30 minutes to go down to the break room and just enjoy a cup of chili, and in storms this lady SWEARING about the new vending machine, an OUTRAGE of enormous proportions… would you LOOK at the OPTIONS IN HERE? There’s nothing that’s both diet and caffeine free!!!! There's root beer, and Dr. Pepper, and Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi. But NOTHING diet caffeine free!!!! Look, over here, there's all different kinds of juice, but they all have SUGAR in them!!! There's this G2, I don't know what that is, I guess it's low calorie, but it's still not DIET! There's nothing in here... I thought this company was supposed to be trying to encourage being healthy, and now they don't even have a coffee machine with decaf!!! There's no healthy options!!!

Oh my God, there's an ice machine with water right next to you, you DUMB. BITCH! Fucking USE IT! It's diet, it's free, it's fucking WATER. Not everything is a crime against you, you dirty yeast laden hag! You want diet, choke on a fucking ice cube. LET ME EAT MY FUCKING CHILI!!!