I should never read the internet

I bring this particular review up for two reasons: 1) because I read reviews like this online ALL THE TIME, for movies, games, anything, though 2) I rarely read a review as transparently ignorant as this one. I won't say what this is for, but I will say that it's for a documentary which is regarded by many people to be a classic, one that is regularly watched by people in huge parties, considered one of the most informative but still incredibly entertaining movies ever to be produced, and no, it's not An Inconvenient Truth.

I will also point out that at the time of this writing, the average rating for this film on iTunes is four out of five stars, and despite seeing several people writing glowing praise for this movie, somebody wrote the following (I'll dissect it as I go):

I watched this film with two other people. We simply did not laugh once. I left this movie actually angry.

I don't take any offense so far. I just kind of feel sorry for the people who flat out didn't get it.

It's not a film for starters, it's a documentary...

Fine, that shows a certain bias, which is fair.

There are no characters in the movie, virtually no editing or score or production value of any kind.

Now I'm starting to just get depressed that someone actually wrote this. As far as I can tell, people like this think that if they know big words like "editing" and "production," they're obviously a reputable source whose opinion is worthy. At that level of flooring dipshittidy, they must believe that other people will just get magically fooled, and not know what exactly a DOCUMENTARY IS.

I try not to be too hard on people like this, though, since it's usually just some junior high kid. Remember, all people are equals on the internet. Since you have to take 9th grade remedial English (like I did) before you can really enjoy some of the nuances of high film, I let it slide; it's probably a seventh grade kid.

I rank it as the worst movie I've seen as an adult.

Oh.

I wish people who made movies were held responsible for the crap the same way car makers, etc. are... they would never put this out if they were.

NOW we're really getting the realm of pissing me the fuck off. I'll feel sorry for someone until the cows come home and still get some sleep, but these kind of ignorant fuckheads are the same people hating assholes who say horrible shit like "one man/one woman" or "no reverese discrimination" or "Hillary '08," and there's a high enough quantity of them that they cause actual damage to society.

Fuck that, they're the downfall of society. I very rarely talk to people like this in person, since they don't show their faces in public too often (for fear of accidentally learning something or thinking while walking down a public street), and instead tend to coagulate in churches at the end of town or at some protest in front of some store who happens to disagree with them on something, vehemently stating that anyone who is even mildly different from them should be muted, imprisoned, or shot. These are the people for whom I would feel no remorse if I punched them repeatedly in the face... I know that they would learn nothing from the experience, but it would feel really really good, and I know that they would use it as fodder for what's wrong with the world, and since they're already the maximum level of intolerance allowable by a human brain, there's no way that my beating the living fuck out of these... God Damnit, I've run out of swear words to describe these people. Well, let's see if they have anything else to say that will piss me off more:

If you think that this kind of thing is funny than by all means buy this video because you'll love it but don't waste your time and money until you're sure.

AAAAAARARGH!!!! I read a very similar review about a really soulful CD I bought once: "If you want to listen about some guy shooting himself than go ahead but I say it's a waste of money."

How nice of you, you worthless fucking piece of shit detriment to everything that is good and useful in this world. You're giving me permission. To buy this movie. Thank you so much, I didn't think I was going to be able to buy it but since you, the purveyor of knowledge, have given me the opportunity to make my own mistakes, I might take that jump. See, what I like about that is that it shows how open you are to other people having differing tastes. Oh, except for that part where YOU JUST FUCKING SAID THAT THE FILMMAKERS SHOULD "BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE" FOR MAKING THE MOVIE, YOU HORRIBLE HORRIBLE ASS.

At least you and I have one thing in common. You want everything that you don't understand to be removed from existence, so that you never have to think, learn, experience, or know anything. We can just run around hitting each other and jerking off in bushes until our entire species dies out because nobody is out growing food for us and rather than learning how to feed ourselves we all starve to death. What a utopia. If only the world was the way you think it should be.

But like I said, we're not completely different, you and me. Because I sure as fuck don't understand how, in this day and age, there could possibly be people like you. And I really can't see how we could lose that much in our society if everyone who is "in their adult life" that thinks a movie which is openly loved by millions would "never [be put] out" if the filmmakers "were held responsible" for making it got a bullet in their fucking head.

I guess we all have a little intolerance in us, don't we?